Topaz-Ranger's Ramblings 2

''He confuses me, but if I am honest, the subtle nuances between male and female were always a mystery to me. It is why I ended up in the position I find myself now. But it is rather ironic that as I sat cursing myself for my foolishness and my boldness, even as I cursed him his stubborness and rude behavior, he was out somewhere thinking of me and finding a gift that would touch me so.''

''As I looked at the necklace, the workmanship of it and the topaz set within, it struck me that this was the first gift of jewlery I had recieved from another. I had a few pieces of my mother's that I was wearing when I was forced through the portal. But this was the first given to me by another. Even Tabor in his contrived courtship did not offer jewelry or anything other than plants or flowers.''

''It was a thoughtful gift and the note with it explained a little. He was not a man of words. At first I was doubtful. Was this out of pity? A kind heart seeking to at least try and heal the hurt I knew I did not hide well? But I do not think it so. The tone struck as sincere and the gift showed...thought, effort, sentiment.''

''I cannot fault anyone for not being comfortable with words. I am literate. I speak well, write well. But I cannot claim that I am comfortable with words when I have watched many twist words, use words as weapons, or lie so boldly with honest expression. In truth, a dislike of words is wise. But it does make it hard to try and know another without them.''

''So, I am now on to my next problem to solve. How to forge a connection, a friendship, a relationship by actions rather than words? And though his note spoke of his admiration, is companionship something he seeks? I crave my own solitude at times, then I wish contact with others. But a male used to his solitude may not feel the same. And I do not wish to force something uncomfortable on anyone.''

''And here I go in circles again. I too must frustrate the hells out of many. Which means that a measure of patience is due the male when he is maddeningly distant while gazing at me as if he is trying to figure me out.''